Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Saying No to Others is Saying Yes to Yourself
This is a great statement. To me it is about reducing mental and emotional clutter, setting boundaries and appreciating yourself. It can sound a little selfish, "reducing invitations to friends." But really, if you think about it, don't we all typically over commit, in part to please other people or for fear of saying no?
This page came from a calendar my dad gave to me for Christmas last year, it is the "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" daily calendar and each day it has some new thing for me to remember so I don't get all caught up in the little things. Life is too short. The day is to short....and frankly I have to get to yoga so I don't have time to deal with the small stuff!
This one today really seemed to speak to what my friends and I have been discussing lately. Making time for yourself and not giving in to the pressures of friendship. Don't get me wrong, friends are great and I love spending time with my friends but sometimes relationships can become difficult and dates, events, meetings, etc. start to become an obligation or something one does out of guilt. Many times I find this can happen without even realizing it. Someone asks to go do something, I can't think of a reason not to so I go. Some drama ensues over the course of the evening and I am left mentally drained from the evening. I can't really function the next day because the night before has left me stressed out, exhausted or brain dead...or worse, all three. Ever feel like that?
Why do we do it? I personally think it is because we are in general nice people that don't want to disappoint our friends, family, etc. But wouldn't it be better for us to be in a good mental state for those times when our friends family really need us?
We shouldn't be required to accept every social invitation or function. Pick wisely and leave time for yourself, or say that another way, pick your "me" time first, then fit in social engagements.