Wow, my last post was June 6th! Eeeek! I was almost done with training then and I think training took it all out of me..I lost my energy to blog. I've been back for a few weeks now and honestly blogging has floated through my mind a few times and each time I have thought it was a monumental task. Not sure why, could be because teaching yoga isn't natural and free flowing like my work I did for the last 11 years so it takes more energy to do it well, leaving just about enough energy to brush Ginger (my cat) and make a smoothie.
Good news?! I'm a Bikram Yoga Teacher!!! I made it! Since I've been back, everyone I meet asks, "how was it?" My only response is "it was great! I loved it!" This usually is met with a bit of a surprised look. Bikram Yoga Teacher Training is hard, long and involves things that are challenging, sometimes not fun and often what you don't really want to be doing. So why did I love it? I've pondered this question and I've decided it was because I went with little to no expectation and the only expectation I did have was WAY hard and more mentally challenging than it was. Whatever we were told to do, that is what we did, we never had time to think about it.
I am the type of person that needs to feel in control, always have a schedule, plan out my day, week, month. I don't like to leave things to chance so I think in my head of plan A, B and C, just in case. I also don't like doing things I'm not good at or that I just plain don't like so this training could have been a daily meltdown for me. And I was expecting it.
I've left Texas 3 other times for extended times (like this training, 9 weeks) and all three times I was miserable and wanted to come home. I was younger then and more stubborn, I'm glad to see I've grown up a bit! :) But I was worried I would fall into the same patterns and not enjoy or absorb the experience while it was happening.
Instead, I had a great time! It was hard, don't get me wrong. And I had to do a lot of things I didn't really want to do, I was challenged physically in class and mentally in lectures and clinics but each moment, each experience was an opportunity to change myself, to look inside myself and work on me. It was awesome. I felt like I was really able to let go and not stress, not feel the need to control my environment and not allow the little things to make me go completely postal.
I think the best compliment I received was from a teacher at my studio that came out to visit and she said I looked so happy, happier than she had ever seen me. That was awesome.
So I'm back in the Big D, Dallas, and teaching yoga at Bikram Yoga Dallas. Each day is a new day to work on myself and help others work on themselves. Always a work in progress, but what great work it is!